Monday, June 27, 2011

The Greatest Food Failure Yet

I know, that is saying something. But just you wait. I feel justified in that this was not actually our fault, but we were thrown under the bus in our wing-making attempts by perhaps the most terrible chicken company in all the world. Let me explain:

Last Friday Dave had just finished his finals, and so I suggested that we have some kind of celebratory food to commemorate a successful Spring term (since how else would you celebrate but with food?). Since we are cheap this would involve making this food, not going out for it. I remembered that he had bookmarked this recipe for chicken wings on our beloved allrecipes.com, and so we looked it up and decided to try it. Now, the recipe itself was kind of easy but I will say that I wouldn't have used it again because it used a lot of kind of expensive ingredients, and it wasn't really anything to write home about in the end. (But the real problem was the chicken itself.)

On Saturday we ran some errands including Costco, which is probably what heaven will be like I think. Large amounts of food and cheap discounted workout clothes and books. Also, samples which is why we really go there. They actually had wings and looking back on it, for the money we spent on the ingredients for the wings we made, we really should have just bought a bag of the ready-made ones there. I hate when I realize things like that later. We waited for like twenty minutes along with a gaggle of five-year-olds for our rightful turn at a free wing and then I used my large hips to box out the shocking number of people who tried to cut us in line (I knew these things had to be good for something):
 Sampling some tasty cheese I believe
Dave's wing. I think the face is because I made fun of him for something.

We also ran into one of Dave's old friends who I hadn't met yet at Costco, but sadly I could not shake her hand as mine was filled with free bacon. I am sure she thinks that he got a real catch.

We went to Macey's after which is where I bought the offending poultry. I could choose between the Tyson wings which were $14, or the "Paco Farms" ones which were $8.99. Naturally, I chose the cheap ones although both seemed kind of expensive. We got home, Dave made the marinade, and all was well until we actually sat down to eat. While wrestling to peel off the half inch of fat that coated each wing, I noticed that there were what appeared to be many little HAIRS all over the wing. I gagged a little then rushed to examine the rest. It got worse, as some had actual feathers attached still. Barf, barf, barf! I don't want to be reminded of the fact that my food is somehow connected to life. I am not a hippy, thank you, except for when I wear Chacos and even then everyone knows I just pose! I am very happy in my ignorance of organic-ness.


Well, needless to say dinner was a bust and ended up being a delicious bowl of Honey Oat Flakes:
(again, why do some photos end up so tiny?)

I debated showing a picture of the grossness of the hairy wings but I decided that I didn't want all of you to have to go through that. Needless to say "Paco Farms" will be getting an angry and probably poorly constructed email from me.

1 comment:

  1. Okay that is so disgusting! I practically gagged just reading your description. I would definitely be sending a letter/making a phone call ASAP. Just know that while I have not had hairy chicken wings, you are not alone in you food failures.

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