Saturday, April 13, 2013

Pregnancy + Teaching Jr. High = Awkward

Obviously, I did not tell my students about my pregnancy right away. Partially, it was for the same reason that you don't tell most people right away, just to make sure there weren't any early complications, but I also didn't want it to be a distraction. 7th and 8th graders already will look for any excuse to get you off track.

Finally, I decided my baggy shirts could hide it no longer, and I figured it was time to break the news to my crazy kiddos. They were SO cute and excited about it, and in the week since I let them in on my little secret they have been quite inquisitive and funny about the whole situation. I will say that their responses (so far) can be divided into three main categories:

Unsolicited advice:

1. Student: "Are you going to teach next year or are you going to stay at home with your baby?"

Me: "I am going to teach part-time. So I will be here on A-days and on B-days I will be home with my baby."

Student: "Oh. I think you should probably stay home and take care of your baby every day"

(Thank you for your input)

2. (I sip from my soda during class sometimes to keep nausea at bay)

Student: "GASP! Does that have CALORIES???"

Me: "So what if it does?" (it was diet. I was just being a punk)

Students: "You really shouldn't drink your calories"

Me: "I do what I want"

3. Student: "You run, right? You really should run while you're pregnant"

Me: "Oh...what makes you say that?"

Student: "My young women's leader runs and she's six months pregnant. And she is really skinny"

Ponderings on my child's ethnic ambiguity:

1. Student: (Whom I called on thinking she had a legitimate question in relation to what we were discussing in class) "Ok, don't take this the wrong way, but will your baby be, like, Japanese?"

Me: (hoping I am not breaking any laws on what we are allowed to talk about with regards to reproduction in Utah schools) "Well, my baby will be half of me and half of my husband. So it will be half Japanese and half white."

Student: "That is so cool."

Me: "Why would I take that the wrong way?"

Student: "You would be surprised" (I still don't know what that meant)

2. Student: "WAIT, will your baby be American?"

Me: "Well it will be born in America, so...."

Student: "NO, I've got it, it will be JAMERICAN!!! That is SO funny!"

Surprisingly accurate and wise words:

1. Student: "Pregnant women eat double dessert" (sounds about right)

2. Student: "You will probably have a hard time sleeping. My mom said it was hard at the end because she was really uncomfortable."

3. Student: "What are you craving? Like, that we have in the vending machines here? I want to buy you a snack"

4. Student: "I am going to be really nice to you. We watched "Into the Womb" in health and pregnancy looks hard." (This, coming from one of my most rowdy 8th graders, was actually quite appreciated. And so far I have to say that he has followed through. He came in and organized my bookshelves for me last week just because.)

5. Student: "I will do whatever you want from now on. In my experience, pregnant women can get pretty ornery.... (this kid has like 8 siblings. So I think he knows) 

Oh, and I have to throw in this grammatically accurate honorable mention. My 7th graders have been studying some commonly-confused words the last week in order to get ready for the vocab portion of the state testing we are having in a few weeks. We were talking about the difference between "you're" and "your." I asked the class if anyone could come up with a sentence using "you're" correctly.

Student: "You're fat"

Me: "You're rude. But you're also right. Who can use "your" correctly?"

Student #2: "Your belly is fat."

Me: Again....correct.

*I should mention that these are both students that I have a pretty good relationship with, and we joke around a lot. So I was not offended! I asked for it by walking around pregnant in the cesspool of hormones that is jr. high!


  1. This is just too good. SO SO happy for you!! :) Hope you've been feeling well.

  2. This just made my night. So funny! And it sounds very familiar to what my friend here said her students said while she was pregnant (very weird sentence...) kids are kind of the same everywhere :)

  3. Apparently you really ARE funnier than me. They say parents want their kids to achieve higher levels of success than they did themselves, but in all honesty, it's kind of hard when you see it actually happen.